Behold, I stand at the door and knock

Mercy and Truth have met

May Your unfailing love

You were redeemed

Always pray and not give up

The Woes and Remedies of the Homeschool Mom

"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."

Romans 7:15 NLT

This verse in Romans has spoken to many a soul.

But I feel like it is lived out on a daily basis in my home as a homeschool mom.

I want to do what is right:

• start on time
• have the house straightened up before we start on time 
• have my child understand it all the first time
• have a good attitude 
• do half as well as we did yesterday
• have checks next to everything on my list

Instead, I do what I hate:

• start late with the house not straightened up
• compare myself to others
• speak in angersigh deeply if I have to repeat myself
• fake smile while I explain the laws of homeschooling for the hundredth time to a cashier

And etc.

 I must confess that my frustrations have been written long ago, in James ch. 4.
"What causes fights and quarrels among you?
Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?……..
You do not have because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive,
 because you ask with wrong motives,
 that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures."
(Deep sigh.)
I have had the desires battle within me.
I have forgotten at times to ask God to help.
And some of those times, I have asked with the wrong motives…

Jumping a bit further…..
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city,
 spend a year there, carry on business and make money.'
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow."
"Instead, you ought to say 'If it is the Lord's will,
we will live and do this or that."

Perhaps I should say…
"If it is the Lord's will we will finish 5 subjects on time in a neat house today."

A few years ago,

a brilliant woman organized an event that took place in a Florida living room.

 Veteran homeschool moms speaking to young homeschool moms.

It was music, nurture, and therapy to our unsure souls.

 From the ones who have done it……… and finished!

 Kids in college!!

Funny though, very little was mentioned about grades, scores, and who was done first.

Here are the notes I took:

Mrs. S.
don't shove a square peg in a round hole
find strengths and cultivate
its Ok to go back and do it again
don't be mad at them
character can sometimes make up for lack of strength
God created children, some super gifted, others not
don't belittle
long road and sacrifice
create a thankful home
Don't think you can't do it
accept your kids as they are

Mrs. C
Every child is called to do something different
every family is different
point your child's heart towards God
Keep loving the Lord
Can't save your kids, teach, seek, pray
Do it all with a heart for the Lord

Another but different Mrs. C
God's mercy covers the things you do wrong
teach your kids to respect their father
you will fail more than you succeed
teach kids how to research
allow and create a love for learning
with academics, everything is related
read, read, read
get out a book
find out what kids in the 1800's knew
knowledge puffs up
pray for a discerning spirit
show truth and show fallacy
show God's way, and show man's way

Mrs. S
you are the one doing most of the learning
character development is most with you
some kids need a tool belt
let child use the skill set the way God has designed them
one season curriculum works, another it doesn't
be able to let go, you can change!
they will be good at some things and not so good at others
find out if they retain the knowledge
if not, learn again, its OK
trust in God's providence
be a student of your child
don't quit, take a half day away, it does the trick

Ahhhhhhhh.
Home made remedies.
To help cure the maladies.

Thanks for reading!
I hope to write again, Lord willing ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyU0P6iqyw4

the fear of the LORD leads to life

Whatever you ask in prayer

the law of the Lord

May those who fear You, rejoice

Just like You said it would be

During the long winter months on Long Island, my cousins and my sister, and I, would play Rummy 500 endlessly.

Our ages were scattered but we were all in our teens.

Sitting with the ashtray near enough (but not interfering with our 3 of a kind fans), we would smoke and sing along to Sinead O'Connor. 

Over and over again.

It is one of my favorite memories.

Partially because it was one of the few times in my life that I felt that there were others that felt exactly like I did.

We would feel Sinead's sadness, belt out in her frustration and whisper when she whispered.

(But only Kathy could dance exactly like her to Emperor's New Clothes.) 

Now that I am old, and not gray, but artificially blonde, I don't have many of those moments when I connect with a musician and a live human being.

Typically, its me and iTunes or Youtube. 

Occasionally, there will be that time of worship, when I join in with believers, and the Spirit unites us with the song.  Oh how I love those times!!

There are not enough of them.

One morning, while all alone in my living room, before the sun could be seen, I was reading a verse in Psalms and I came up with a tune for it.

That had never happened to me before.

I am musically illiterate. 

So, I felt a great need to share this with someone who did know music.

But between those 2 moments, I had a few fantasies.

First, the person was going to be super impressed. Big eyeballs and everything.

Second, I would be invited to share it with a worship team.

 (I practiced humble statements to go with such adoration.)

Lastly, I fantasized I was not the geek I really am.

Of course, it did not go that way.

I nervously mentioned it to my musically inclined friend. She was so distracted at the time that I had to repeat myself.

"I came up with a cool tune to some Psalm verses".

"Do you want to sing it to me right here?" She said as she was packing up.

Uh, that was not in my script of what she would reply.

"No, not here, some other time."

She seemed relieved and hugged another friend as they walked up.

I walked away in reality.

Or did I walk away feeling what this devotion says, (written in the perspective of Jesus):

              "To Me each one of My children is an individual with varying characteristics and varying needs.  To one and all the way to the highest must be a lonely road, as far as human help and understanding are concerned.

None other can feel the same needs and desires, or explain the inner self in the same way.  That is why man needs Divine Companionship.  The Companionship that alone can understand each heart and need." *

Ironically, the verse I had a tune to was:

"Trust in Him at all times, O people;

pour out your hearts to Him."

Psalm 62:8

And that is what I did after my fantasy did not come to life.

Poured out my heart to Him.

Maybe the song was a little diddy just between us. God and I.

My song to Him. Only me, only Him.

Divine Companionship.

Our thing, just like with my sis and cousins minus the cigs.

A little more holy than an ashtray.

I guess ashes have their place.

Like on foreheads on ash Wednesday.

I don't get mine marked up but I like to see others at the grocery store with theirs.

But one day I will have something really cool on my forehead.

"They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads."

Rev 22:-4

All His promises are true. 

And when this life comes to an end for me, and I close my eyes here.

"Nothing would, nothing would please me better, than I find that You're there when I wake."

When I wake, and find Him there, with His name on my forehead… I might sing my song to Him, or Sinead's.

"It's just like You said it would be."

Thanks for reading!

*http://www.twolisteners.org/Nov%20Eventide.htm#November%2013

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy5ZhDTxcFA

Rejoice

Look to the Lord

Happy Veterans Day

Be at rest

Children of God

Children of God.

Knowing that I am one of God's children is still an honor I love.

The worthiness is not on me, but on His Son Jesus.

In John 1:12 it says:

"Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God."

I receive Jesus, I believe on His name.

Now I am a child of God.