Rejoice

Look to the Lord

Happy Veterans Day

Be at rest

Children of God

Children of God.

Knowing that I am one of God's children is still an honor I love.

The worthiness is not on me, but on His Son Jesus.

In John 1:12 it says:

"Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God."

I receive Jesus, I believe on His name.

Now I am a child of God.

A Veil Used To Be Here

"But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed."

 2Cor 3:16 

I wish I could hire a documentary narrator and have them give a history tour of my heart.

With their regal accent, they could point out how it had been gutted, cleaned, and upgraded, and state "A veil used to be here."

Like the indentations on a carpet when a couch is moved, I have a place in my heart where a veil used to be. 

The rut is still there, though the thick curtain was removed long ago.

For 24 years the veil that separated God and I stood firm. It muffled out sounds and kept me concealed from God's all knowing eyes.  I would peer out behind it in desparate times, begging and pleading for Him to do things that only God could do.

After He did, or didn't, I would return to my shrouded chaos.

I met some people that told me that if I would bare myself before God, He could forgive me, make me new, and even (raise eyebrow) love me.

These people agitated and entertained me.

I thought about all the stuff I kept behind this veil.

I looked at these fine folk and doubted they bared this sort of stuff to God. 

I kicked my stuff deeper into the veil, fearing exposure.

One brave day in June, I did come before God. 

And there I was, with my shame, my hatred, my offenses, and much more.

Barren before a Holy God.

The contrast pierced my heart. 

I awaited the condemnation I believed I deserved.

Bracing myself for, "I have not enough grace for this". Rejection.

However, 

after calling upon Jesus,

and Jesus seeing all, even more than any person on earth has seen,
the veil was split.

Rip.

Light blasted.  Love whooshed.

A hurricane of forgiveness whirl-winded the old heart.

Hardness removed yet rejuvenated with softness.

Sitting beside Him in my right mind
until I was thrilled to be in His presence.

  "But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed." 2Cor 3:16

Now, all that is epic and lovely, but none of that made me an angel that could  float out of this world.
Changes came but not all at once.

Having value in the eyes of God changed things.
When a curse would come out of my mouth, it stood out and sounded off. It no longer blended in with the other words.
Getting drunk and hanging out with the boys had less appeal than sitting in my living room trying to understand what a bible verse meant.
And the cigarettes, my lovely cigarettes…
my trusty white friends who went with every mood.
They were nicotine substitutes for what God wanted to be in my life.
And slowly, they were snubbed out.

 I realized I needed to talk to God, often.
How can I, Laura, talk to Him? Casually? In rote Catholic prayers?
 I came up with a compromise…
I would pray to God with a British accent.
That sounded a bit more reverent than my New York one.
"Dee-ya Lawwwwwd."
 I would ask Him in a phony accent for everything I needed, thanked Him for all that He did.
Only in private of course.
That got me started, kind of a crawl to a walk.
Eventually, my own voice, accent, natural way of talking became my regular means of communication.

 Tons more stuff happened and continues to happen.
Hopefully I will blog about all of the good, bad, falling down and the getting back up!
Cheerio and God Bless!
Thanks for reading!





I found a song on Noisetrade.com called "I Tore The Veil"
I love this song, and was surprised when I watched the video on youtube how young this girl (Rachel Sauls) is... wise beyond her years.
Great lyrics too.. "I see you falling and rising, I hear you agonizing.."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GdLu2coa2A

Weariness and Responsibility by James Hastings

Make me as one of thy hired servants

"The prodigal son asked for hired service because he was sick of freedom.

There had been a time when freedom was the only thing he wanted.

The desire of it had led him away from his home to the far land.

The routine of home, the tediousness of that dull person his elder brother,

the restraint of a younger son living in his father's house-

these had become intolerable to his young blood.

He heard the call of the sparkling world beyond the horizon of the homestead.

There a man might live without restrictions and go as he pleased.

He went, a lad light-hearted and easily seduced.

He found his freedom, and did what he liked.

Soon all his guidance of his affairs was gone, and he was whirled along in a rush of pleasures,

the mere sport of circumstances and of lusts.

Freedom is a noble thing, if it be accompanied by a clear mind and a powerful will that keeps its self control.

So this prodigal son had claimed his freedom before he was capable of managing it.

And it utterly wrecked his life.

Now he is, as well may be, afraid of it.

Afraid to trust himself.

He genuinely and ardently longs for someone to control him, and its this change of heart that redeems the incident.

This then is the mood of the returning prodigal who has his speech prepared for the meeting of his father. But that speech was never uttered.

When father and son have met there is no longer any word of hired servants. Fear, shame, distrust of self, the burden of responsibility, are all swallowed up in love.

One sight of the father's face, the great embrace of the beloved arm thrown around his rags,

the tears that fall upon his neck,

these settle all the problems which in cold blood we settle otherwise.

Self distrust even has passed, for love has found a natural and happy solution.

No hard responsibilities, no unbearable lonely freedom is give to us to manage rightly.

For the father is there, and we have learned at last to love him.

And that love has become a far more commanding law than hired service can ever know.

But God insists, He will give no external law written on tables of stone.

He will write His laws on our hearts.

He will not call us servants even in answers to our prayers.

He has called us friends and sons of His household,

and He will not consent to any less honorable relation.

But the love that Christ brings and reveals makes all the difference.

That love is indeed fulfilling the law,

as all who are laboring and heavy laden may discover.

Love changes the look and feeling of all things.

Go about your daily duties, your readings, your praying, assuming that you are God's child, acting in all things as if you were.

He will make it right.

He IS making it all right.

You are incapable and helpless...

Like Augustine 'Take me Lord, for I cannot give myself

Keep me Lord, for I cannot keep myself'. "